This weekend was frustrating. As usual I waited patiently by the phone for the boy to call. He finally called and gave me another list and asked what was for dinner- Frustration #1- he was annoyed that we were having fish again. So I run to Rite aid to pick up icy hot and aleve for him and race over to his house with hot dinner. He eats dinner, we talk to his parents and then we started his wash (which his pt uniform was covered in goose poop and mud. Needless to say, he did that himself.) He gave me his uniforms to drop off in the morning at the cleaners to be dry cleaned and pressed Frustration #2- On my day off, I am up at 6:45am to go to the cleaners to drop off HIS uniforms while he sleeps in. We end up watching cops and making out. He was in a good mood, happy to see me and everything seemed fine.
Like a good ‘Girlfriend’ (Frustration #3 I put girlfriend in quotation because we are not official yet but he introduces me to everyone as “this is my girlfriend, Elle”. ) I get up early go to the dry cleaners and start my day. My stomach is doing flip flops all day hoping and praying that the cleaners will be able to dry clean and press the uniform by 3. I go to the gym and kinda eat lunch (french fries) get ready and head over to the cleaners to pick up the uniforms and then head over to the boys, to go to dinner at the neighbors. The cleaners had his uniform all ready for me to pick up and as i am about to pull out my phone, to call the boy, he calls me ((creepy)) and I told him i have his uniforms and im on my way. Now dinner was at 3, apparently, so I was late by like 45 minutes so I get to the boys and we walk over. It’s 3:45 and DINNER IS NOT EVEN CLOSE TO BEING DONE. Frustration #4 I am a punctual person, When you say dinner is at 3, and I am 45 minutes late, I’m expecting dinner to be all ready for me to done. Now i am not a brat that demands things and I totally understand that things happen, i understand that but when i try my hardest to get there to be presentable with a box of chocolates, I expect a thank you, luckily I got that at least. Dinner was great, I got a little sick (#glutenfreegirlproblems) but over all it was yummy. After dinner we finished packing everything for the academy and there was a party at 9 we were going to make an appearance at so we had like 2 hours to kill. So he asked if I minded if he played video games, no i didnt mind at all so I was on his computer, on TUMBLR and he played video games for like 2 hours. I really didnt care about the video games. So that happened and he asks me before we leave do i want to drive or does he. I said I was going to drive because I knew I had to be home by a certain time. So we stop at the liquor store for him to pick up a 6pack and I ask him which way to go- he says FB. Frustration #5 he said that the it was a bayville party, which that is the whole reason why I decided to drive, no we were going like a half hour away ( i know that doesnt sound far but I loathe driving at night) so Im not excited at all because I know in my heart, he isnt coming back with me.
So we get to the house, he thinks and we go in and its like a frat house but in reality a couple lives there with a 5 month old son who are barely 21. So right away, I stick out like a SORE THUMB. Im wearing (to give you a visual) skinny jeans cuffed at the ankle, boat shoes, green v-neck [it was st. patricks day], a navy cardigan with a khaki skinny belt around my waist. I was preppy as prep can be. Everyone else was… not. So I was outta place already and the boy kept introducing me as his girlfriend to everyone. We played a round of beerpong, the boy drank all TEN cups because 1. i was driving and 2. i cant drink beer. We lost, but we had fun [ i havent played beer pong in FIVE years maybe SIX]. So it was getting around 10:30 and I knew I wanted to leave at like 10:45 and the boy looks at me, tipsy, and said ’ do you mind if I stayed if I could get a ride home?’ As the loyal girlfriend I am, I said ‘sure hunny’. So his friend Steve was coming and he can give him a ride home. So after Steve got there I was introduced and then I said, I am going to go. He walked me out to my car, gave me a gigantic hug and big kiss and said ’ drive safe, text me when you get home’. So at this point, I am 1.in pain 2. a little mad that he did that and 3. hungry. I get home and we have this exchange of messages:
me: home. Have fun!
boy: Ok Have a goodnight baby
me: thanks you too!
boy: your not mad at me are you.
me: Nooo not at all. Babe I would have felt horrible if you had to leave bc i needed to be home. Go have fun. xx
boy: Ok I hope your not I miss u already
me: I miss you too! I pinky promise you I am not mad.
boy: Ok have a goodnight hun
We were fine on saturday night. SUNDAY was totally different. We had planned to eat lunch with his family and dinner with mine (great another day of eating). So I go over to his house for lunch, grandma was there (!!!) and we are talking to his family and his mom starts to go over family day with grandma because she is coming with us and this exchange happened:
sister: WHAT IS THIS?!! WHEN IS THIS?!?! I WANNA COME!!!
Momma S: This is for M’s Family Day on Thursday at the Academy
sister: I WANT TO COME!!! WHY CANT I COME!
Momma S: M has already RSVPd for 6 people.
sister: WHY SIX?!
the boy: Mommy, daddy, grandma, Elle and her parents
sister: SHES NOT FAMILY :::pointing to me::::
the boy: …..
Momma S: …..
me: …… (tears are forming)
I wanted to run out of there so fast but I stayed. I couldn’t believe what she said. Right in front of me. I was speechless. Needless to say, that made for awkward conversation for the rest of the day. Frustration #6 I am always so so nice to his sister. I have never once said anything bad about her especially in front of her and for her to say that in front of EVERYONE, I was hurt.
I was already not feeling well and that just exemplifed that a million times. Lunch at the boys house was fantastic. His father made me and the boy a corn beef and cabbage that was gluten free.
After lunch, we played phase 10 with his mom and grandma, and the boy. I won!
After the game, we somehow started to talk about marriage and living together and a lot of grown up stuff. Well that didnt go over too well- he didnt like the fact that I dont want to change my name, if I get married to him; he wants to sign a prenup to ‘keep me out of his pension’; i want to keep seperate bank accounts; he wants a large home in TR (this week); etc. We also spoke about where we would get married- he wants beach, I want somewhere nice. This just escalated and once we finally got over to my parents house, he was grumpy and rude. We walk in and this what transpired:
me: mommy look who I found
mommy: Hi guys!
the boy: ::smiles:: hello
mommy: How are you M?
the boy: Well talk about it at dinner.
mommy: ::slowly backs away and goes back to cooking:::
me: ::slowly walks towards my room:::
the boy: ::follows me::
he like snapped at my mom for no apparent reason. We go into my room and he sits at my computer and starts looking at houses in TR. This goes on until dinner and as usual I am the voice of reason- ‘Babe, dont forget we would have to pay taxes and the insurance would be higher if we bought a house with a lake’ and etc. Frustation # 7 First off, we were talking about the future and I am not even technically his girlfriend nor wife yet. He probably changes his mind every other week where he wants to move and YES i understand he is under a lot of stress but there is no reason, NO REASON to be rude to me or my parents especially since we have bending over backwards for you and I have been doing everything possible i can for you besides actually going to the academy.
Frustration #8 I had this REALLY scary dream where the boy and I were married but I decided to keep my own name because of the line of work he is in. One day I was food shopping and I head someone come behind me and say “Mrs. _____”and only a few people knew me by that name and I turned around someone hit me over the head with something hard. The next thing I remember was in some dark room and I saw the boy (my husband in the dream) hanging by his wrists from the ceiling looking half dead. - I told the boy about the dream and how scared I was and how it felt so real. His response- That could never happen. Thats why its a dream, they never come true. I was livid- then why does he want to carry a gun and handcuffs off duty?
So dinner was interesting and my parents were kinda quiet they really didnt ask that many questions and when my mom would ask a question, the boy jumped down her throat and almost yelled at her. I was just not in the mood to be dealing with all of this stress. After dinner we went back to his house and finished up doing what he needed for the academy [ loading the bags into his car, put his uniforms into the bags etc] watched some tv with his dad [ frozen planet] and then went and layed down for Walking Dead. We were laying in bed and he doesnt even acknowledge I am there with him. Normally during the commericals we talk or he kisses me and NOTHING. He keeps switching channels. After our show was over, I sat on the bed to put my shoes on and looked over to him and tried to kiss him and he said- ’You have to go, I need to get to bed.’ Oh okay, let me just run away.
Frustration # 9 I knew we couldnt doing certain things but at least show me some affection. It was so awkward and unnatural for us to be like that. In the beginning, he would do silly things like tickle me or wink at me from across the table or if he was sitting next to me, we would play footsees or he would put his hand on my leg. Sunday was nothing.
I really do understand that he is under alot of stress but I am too- maybe i dont talk about it but I do have it. Needless to say, I left his house just about crying because I was so frustated about what had transpired. I texted him when i got home and then i just cried my little heart out in the shower. After my shower I composed my self and got ready for the week.
Fast forward to MONDAY Morning:
I talk to my mom about what happened how he was totally different on Friday and Saturday then on Sunday. I cried and my mom (of course) gave me some good advice and I thought about it all day and I told D. at work and she agreed with my moms advice. I felt a lot better about everything.
Fast forward to Monday Evening at Walmart:
After dinner I decided to venture out because 1. it was so nice out and 2. I wanted to get a head start on easter shopping for the boy’s family. So I am in Walmart, looking at the easter candy and I feel my phone vibrate- now i was just going to let it go but no i looked at it and it was the boy and
the boy: hi hunny
me: how are you? what are you up to?
the boy: we got ten minutes to talk. I wanted to tell you can your mom make the chicken in the packet on friday night, being here really makes me crave that.
me: oh I am sorry, we ate that tonight (not lying)
the boy: oh well maybe for Sunday night
the boy: I cannot wait to see you on thursday. It cannot come soon enough.
me: I know. me either
the boy: can you bring me anti- bacterial? I left both at home.
the boy: okay I miss you a lot LIKE ALOT. I cannot wait to see you. I LOVE YOU. bye
me: eh uh okay. bye babe.
one minute conversation. he said he got ten. whatever. but what freaked me out more was the ‘L’ word.?!!?! what??!??!(this goes without saying Frustration # 10)
He is in for a rude awakening this weekend. I have decided to not be so agreeable and jump when he says so. I need to nip this [me doing everything for him and not having a weekend to myself ] in the bud. I cant nor i wont be that woman that loses herself when she has a boyfriend. I hate that- You are your own person- dont be that girl that her own identity falls on the way side when she has boyfriend. I am certainly not that type of girl.
I think I am going to go talk to his mom after work, stop by the house to see if she is there. I want to get her perspective on this. I still am really really REALLY smitten by him but if he is going to be dr. jekyll and mr. hyde- no bueno.
I’m curious to see how he is this weekend. Who knows.